Going Bovine

Going Bovine Page 137

“Aw, man,” Drew says in a thick Southern drawl. “Y’all shoulda seen my boy, here. Nerves of steel. He eats fear for breakfast.”

“Yeah, that’s our Gonzo,” I say, without missing a beat. “He’s a wild man.”

“A warrior spirit,” Balder chimes in.

“Hey, you must be Balder. Cool. I brought this for you. Freebie from the show,” he says, handing off a camera. Balder’s eyes gleam with mischief.

We step out blinking into the new day. Something’s going on at the Party House, because there must be forty camera crews lined up, and hordes of people are streaming toward the stage.

“What’s going on?” I ask a passing guy. He’s wearing a shirt that says, MY PARENTS WENT TO SHITHENGE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS CRAPPY T-SHIRT.

“You haven’t heard?” he says excitedly. “No. What’s up?”

“The Copenhagen Interpretation!” he shouts, racing on. “They’re back!”

CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

In Which the World’s Most Famous Band Plays the Most Important Comeback Concert Ever

With the news of the Copenhagen Interpretation’s sudden reappearance, the Party House is complete pandemonium. Practically every camera in the state is trained on the stage where the band is scheduled to talk to the world for the first time in eleven years. Because of Gonzo’s new celebrity status, we’re able to push our way to the front.

“That’s right, I’m bad,” Gonzo singsongs. Drew laughs and wraps him in his tattooed arms. He gives Gonz a big kiss and the Gonz-man gets all blushy.

Reporters flank out along the front of the stage down in the security area. They hold their mikes and stare into the cameras as if they’re filing the most important news stories of their lives.

“… no clue yet as to where they’ve been, why they disappeared, and why they’ve come back at this moment, in this place …”

“… unsubstantiated rumors of travel through a wormhole to other worlds …”

“… backstage requests for fresh fish and a toy piano fueled speculation—Copenhagen Interpretation: disappearing divas? …”

“… finally answer the question why do they have so many words for snow? …”

“This is history-making shit, yo!” Gonzo says. “Totally awesome.”

“Yeah,” I say, looking around for Dulcie, because if she were here, it would be awesome.

It seems like forever that we wait for the Copenhagen Interpretation to take the stage. Finally, there’s a new feeling of excitement. People cheer as the curtain parts. There’s deafening applause. Wolf whistles. Flashes go off like fireworks. A surge in the crowd pushes us against the security barrier, but we don’t care. About ten feet in front of us, the Copenhagen Interpretation files out—five people in mukluks and long, hooded parkas that nearly hide their faces. They stop center stage and stand perfectly still.

A balding guy in a Hawaiian shirt walks to a microphone center stage.

“That’s totally their interpreter,” a girl with a lip ring informs us. “Even though they totally record their music in English, they totally speak in Inuktitut. Totally.”

The interpreter clears his throat, ready to deliver the band’s message. The crowd quiets in anticipation. The Copenhagen Interpretation speaks softly to their interpreter, who then relays their words in English through the mike:

Murmurmur. Stop.

“Hello.”

Murmurmurmurmurmur. Stop.

“We have been gone a while, it seems.”

Murmurmurmurmurmur. Stop.

“Wow. You all got so big!”

MurmurmurmurmurmurMurmurmurMurmurmurmur. Stop.

“We have traveled through space and time. We have been many places. Visited many worlds. And there is good news: the acoustics everywhere are terrific.”

Murmur. Murmur. Mur. Mur. Stop.

“There is one last thing we would like to address.”

Murmurmurmur. “You say we have …” Murmurmur-murrr. “… so many words …” Murmur. “… for snow.”

Mur? Murmur? “Well? Wouldn’t you?”

“Totally.” The girl behind us sighs.

Without delay, the Copenhagen Interpretation launches into the opening notes of their first song. People go nuts. I’ve been to a few concerts here and there, but nothing like this. I feel like I’ve swallowed this music whole. It’s pretty f**king amazing the way it connects you to everybody else, makes you part of the same experience at the same time. Drew and Gonzo sway to each song, singing along word for word. Balder closes his eyes and stands perfectly still.