Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs (Glory St. Clair #5)

Real Vampires Hate Their Thighs (Glory St. Clair #5) Page 57

“See, Ray? It’s unpredictable. Think this through.” I held on to his arm. Valdez was behind us and staying silent. I liked him better as a dog. Then I couldn’t see the stony disapproval on his handsome face. Or the lethal glances he divided equally between Ian and Ray.

“It won’t last all day?” Ray uncapped his bottle and sniffed. “What’s in this stuff?”

“Not one dose anyway. And the formula’s my secret. So’s the diet one.” Ian smiled at me. “You look great, Glory. You want to keep this up, we can work something out. Make a special deal. Recruit new clients and I’ll give you the supplement for free.”

My breath stalled. Forever a size six?

“That’s a hell of an offer.” Ray grinned. “She’s gorgeous, isn’t she?”

“She certainly is. One of my best success stories.”

“Too bad you don’t have a video.” Ray obviously had visions of me in a bikini.

No way. Even at a six, my thighs weren’t anywhere near camera ready.

“Oh, but I do.” Ian picked up a remote. “Put this together from surveillance footage.” The screen lit up. “Before.” There I was, stuffed into my size-twelve jeans and T-shirt playing cool rocker chick as I stood next to Ray on Ian’s deck.

“Nothing wrong with that, babe.” Ray squeezed my waist. “Nobody fills out a T-shirt like my woman.”

“Thanks, Ray.” But when I saw the “after” picture, obviously taken just minutes ago, I had to sigh. My beautiful dress. Like a flame. Thanks to Darren’s genius design, my waist looked impossibly small. And my hips! Even my face looked thinner. Yep, I had cheekbones.

“Very dramatic. What do you say, Glory? Want to keep it up?” Ian froze the picture. To tease me, I guess.

“No thanks, not interested. I’d have to chase down runners every night and I don’t like taking advantage of mortals. Then there’s the fact that your supplements do weird things to me, like wake me up and give me nightmares.”

“True. Your reactions intrigue me.” Ian picked up my wrist and inhaled. “I’d like to draw a blood sample if you don’t mind. To analyze this. It might help me make my products more effective.”

“Rather not.” I snatched my hand away. Ian was a scientist. And I knew he was only trying to help vamps realize a dream. But it was all about the money. He wasn’t exactly handing out daylight to the average working vamp, was he? And the diet thing had a high price too. I didn’t want to become one of his lab rats. Next thing you knew I’d be calling him “master” and making house calls. No thanks.

“Your decision, of course. But if you change your mind . . .” He looked out toward the deck. “I think we’ve got company. I’ve been expecting this. Your boyfriend and his family have arrived, Glory.”

“Ray is my boyfriend.” I slid my arm around his waist. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I’d really hoped I’d talked Jerry into stalling his father, maybe even getting him to head back to Scotland.

“I’m not a fool. I’ve known since the first night that you and Jeremiah Campbell are together.” Ian smiled. “Surprised you share the same woman, Ray.” He shrugged. “But obviously Glory is something special.”

Ray and Valdez both made ominous sounds.

“I think that was a compliment, guys. To me anyway. Please don’t start something.” I looked out the glass toward the beach. Hell, there was an army. No, make that two armies facing each other. One looked like the guys were ready for a remake of Beach Blanket Bingo. The other? The warrior gang from 300. What woman wouldn’t be happy to share a towel or a plaid with any one of the buff hunks doing the stare-down out there? “I think Ian’s already got his hands full.”

“Nothing I can’t handle. But looks like the fangs are about to start ripping and tearing.” Ian was surprisingly calm considering he was the prize in this blood war.

“Ian, do something. They’ll kill each other.” I stepped out of his reach when I realized I would make an excellent hostage in a negotiation. The laird might not care, but Jerry would feel obligated to take me into account.

“That would be entertaining.” Ian glanced at Ray. He knew Ray wasn’t going to harm him. Ray was all about the formulas. No Ian, no daylight. In a fight, I had no doubt where Ray would line up.

“Rafe, back off.” Because Valdez looked ready to take on Ian. Not a good idea. When it came to vampire against shifter? I’d always assumed vamps would come out the winner and that’s what Jerry claimed. I really didn’t want to see that tested.

“Shall we join the party?” Ian nodded toward the terrace. “There seems to be a standoff and the laird is calling for me. I’d hate to disappoint him.”

I looked around for something to use as a weapon. I’d like to threaten Ian and make him avoid a showdown. Didn’t he have a tunnel or some way he could disappear and avoid what was sure to be a bloodbath? But I’d told Jerry that Ian didn’t display stakes and it was the truth. He didn’t have so much as a toothpick lying around that could be used against him. Even the fire in the fireplace was done with fake logs. I did manage to slip a small Murano glass sculpture into the folds of my skirts. The dolphin’s snout wasn’t much of a weapon, but it might slow somebody down for a moment or two.

“Maybe you should fly out the back, Ian. Set up shop somewhere else.” Ray slipped his bottle into his pocket. “I don’t know how tough your guys are, but those Highlanders look like mean sons of bitches.”

“Of course they are, Ray. ’Tis my heritage too.” Ian smiled, showing impressive fangs. “We pride ourselves on being mean sons of bitches.” He cocked his head toward the beach. “Angus has a way with words. He’s describing my mother’s character now. Thinks that will bring me to the sand.” He shook his head.

“Won’t it?” I knew how these Scots were about the women in their families. I wasn’t even technically part of Jerry’s and look what he’d done for me. I heard a particularly ugly word shouted down below and winced. Now Ian was bound to charge down those stairs.

“Relax, Glory. You look worried about your Campbell lover.” He smiled at Ray. “Or friend or whatever. Angus is wasting his breath. My mum is a slut. I quit defending her so-called honor centuries ago.” He winked. “Ray, you’d love my baby sister LeeAnn. She’s a fiery redhead. God knows who her father is. Da sure doesn’t.” He laughed bitterly. “You see why I can’t concern myself with matters of clan loyalty? It’s a joke.”

He held up a hand. “Now, that was a low blow. There was never a MacDonald man who didn’t have a cock less than . . .” Ian grinned at me. “Sorry you and I never hooked up, Glory. You could see what I mean.” He nodded. “I’ve heard enough of Campbell’s rants. I’m going out. Are you coming with me?”

“Wait.” I stared at him. I’d known too many proud Highlanders and there was something off here. “Cut the crap, Ian. I’m not buying this ‘I don’t care about the feud’ line. How do you really feel about it?” I gripped his arm and took a chance. I stared directly into his eyes.

“You sure you want to know?” He covered my hand with his and I felt Ray and Rafe move closer. I gestured them back with my other hand.

“Yes.” I didn’t blink. “Men have died on both sides, haven’t they? Don’t you want it to end?”

“Hell yes! I hate this. I’ve lost two brothers to it. More cousins than I can count.” He still didn’t look away. “The lairds are stubborn bastards and immortal, damn them. They won’t quit. It’s endless and mindless. So I left.” He ran his hand through his hair, a gesture very like Jerry’s when he was upset. “Yet here they are. Bloody hell. Why won’t they leave me be?”

I looked into his mind and saw the truth, amazed that Ian let me see it. So much pain. There’d been a child lost too, but he wouldn’t speak of it. I nodded.

“All right. Let’s see if we can fix this.” I turned and walked boldly out to the terrace at Ian’s side. I had an idea and gripped the small bottle in one of my fists, the dolphin still hidden in the other.

Angus stopped raving as soon as he saw our group step to the edge of the terrace. Jerry stood next to him. No sign of Mag, but that didn’t surprise me. Angus would have ordered her to stay behind. War was man’s work in his universe.

“MacDonald. Come down here and fight me like a man.” Angus stepped away from the pack and glared up at Ian.

“Why?” Ian leaned against the railing. “I have no quarrel with you, Campbell.”

“You’re the son of a whore. I spit on the name MacDonald.” Angus spit in the sand and stomped the spot for good measure.

Ian laughed. Angus charged then, headed straight for the stairs. Jerry jumped in front of his father, but was knocked flat by a swing of a beefy fist. The surfers moved into action, but stopped at a word from Ian.

“Let him come.” Ian jumped to the top of the stairs. “Have at me, Campbell. I can take whatever you think you’ve got. But this will solve nothing.”

“No!” I leaped in front of Ian, my red dress flowing around me like a bloodred cape. I barely made it before Angus bellowed and stopped right in front of me.

“Out of the way, Gloriana!” Angus’s face was red and his fangs looked huge. Fortunately, he was just enough of a gentleman to hesitate using his fist on me.

“No! Listen to me.” I could see Jerry behind his father, poised to grab his shoulders and try to jerk him back down the stairs. “Leave him for a moment, Jerry. Just listen, Angus.”

“Why the hell should I? I’ve got a coffin all ready. I’m taking the MacDonald heir back to Scotland. We’ll see what his father thinks when we send word we’ve got his boy set to stake.” Angus laughed. “Finally, we’ll have this settled in our favor.”